Thoughts From My Throne

Of course with a title like that you are probably wondering if I’m really writing this from the throne of destiny. But of course in loo (I love puns) of time I have decided to utilize the time available for defecation purposes to multi- task. And no, this does not constitute as dirty. So here are some thought provoking thoughts.
Expect Michelle Obama to try getting into politics, she is such a good mother she spends half of her time doing her husband’s job, and doing anything to get her name in the papers , and whatever is left over she uses to say she is taking time off to spend with the little brats. I believe we may have another potential Hillary on our hands. Why else would she be doing things to stay in the limelight? She is using this to her advantage and for what only time will tell. (She can’t be that concerned about her kids if she is still married to him, and she’s never home, also look at what the kids have been hearing at church for their entire lives.)
Buy a gun and learn how to use it. If not you will regret it later and it’ll help boost the economy. The AMERICAN economy. Not some cheap knock off of a Purdey made in Belgium, I’m talking American steel and walnut. No a red rider doesn’t count unless you are using it to launch tooth picks at each other.
Tell people that Michael Jackson’s death is a blessing ; that is one less guy at the park telling the kids he has a lollipop. What did he ever do that was worthwhile? The moonwalk? I think some drunk guy invented that when he came home late as a stylish way to dodge a frying pan. Why does the newsstand still have magazines dedicated to him out where we are forced to look at when searching for actual reading material? I mean look at him, he was like Darth Vader; nobody knows what is man, or in his case it, and plastic. His voice was grating, it sounded like he caught vital parts of anatomy in a coffee grinder. Get over it.
Kennedy, with that family if you aren’t drunk, you’re dead. The greatest thing any of them did for this country was get out of office. Now if we can convince Kerry to get out Massachusetts might finally be a place worth visiting. Expect to see pictures dedicated to the lioness of the senate or whatever it is they want him called.
I saw something very interesting the other day, a green government vehicle. No it was a hybrid. Next thing you know we will be shooting organic bullets at towelheads because it is healthier for them and the planet.
North Korea is going to walk all over us in the next couple of years. They claim they are almost finished with their uranium research, so when they do get finished we will talk with them. Who cares if their missiles can allegedly reach California, (it might do some good) we need to grab them by the throat and kick them in the butt. Talking is the number one cause of war. We pull a Clinton and don’t sweat the small stuff, only for a couple of years later for them to pull something big. Why are we sitting around twirling our thumbs when we should be stopping another looney from having nuclear power? On paper the Korean war is still going on, so we can send troops in with little fuss. (If you are wondering, only a cease fire was signed, so any U.S. troops stationed there, or ships that go nearby can get the medal.) It was a big deal when Castro had nukes parked in his backyard forty years ago, but now, what the hey.
I’m getting flustered thinking of this, I might burst a vessel if I don’t call it quits now. So like toilet paper, the principles that founded this country are getting flushed away everyday by the very turds sworn to protect it. That’s it. Now, if only I can get my roommate to get toilet paper.